Esikhathini sakudala noma emandulo nakuso isikhathi esiphila kusona kusenzeka lokhu kokuthi umakoti athande ukuzenzela kubantu basemzini ikakhulukazi umamezala. Lokhu kubizwa ngokubucuza amagabade. Uma umakoti eganile uzama kakhulu ukuthi asondelane nomamezala wakhe, ukuze amthande. Kunenkolelo yokuthi umamezala uyena ongakwakhela umuzi wakho noma akubhidlizele wona. Ngokuzenzelela kuyena umakoti usuke elungiselela isikhathi lapho izinto zingasamhambeli kahle emzini ukuthi umamezala akwazi ukumkhulumela uma izinto sezingasahambi kahle emzini.
Sibe nengxoxo noNelisiwe Mkhize ohlala endaweni yasOhlange. Ngokuzalwa wazalelwa eMkhomazi wakhulela khona waze waba intombi naye uyakufakazela ukuthi ukuzenzelela noma ukucubuza amagabade kubantu basemzini kuyakusebenzela uma usunenkinga noma ufuna ukubonisana nabo ngoba usuke ungeke njalo uma unenkinga umakoti abuyele kubo ukuyocela bamsize.
Uma ngabe umakoti eganile kwakufanele abathande abantu basemzini futhi abahloniphe bonke ngendlela efanayo. Njengokuthi uma kunabafowabo kandoda wayebahlonipha njengoba ehlonipha umyeni wakhe, engababizi ngamagama abo, labo abangakaganwa wayebenzela izinto njengoba enzela umyeni wakhe. Lokhu kwenziwa kuwo wonke umuntu okhona egcekeni. Kodwa okwamamezala kona kwakudlulela ngoba umakoti uzomupha izipho ezingalindelekile kungonakele lutho ukuzenzelela. Sonke siyazi ukuthi abazali bayakuthanda ukuthi bathokoziswe phakathi nesikhathi. Lesisenzo singagcina simenzele amazinyo abushelelezi kubanakwabo abazobe bengenalo ulwazi lezipho eziyimfihlo azipha umamezala wabo.
Lomkhuba wokucubuza amagabade awuqali kuphela uma umakoti eseganile abanye bawuqala besayizintombi nje umuntu esaqomile engakathenjiswa umshado. Intombi yayibonakala seyilethe izinkuni izibeke esangweni noma amanzi ngoba isuke ingakavumelekile ukungena. Lokhu kwakwenzeka ikakhulukazi uma amantombazane engemaningi kubokamfana. Ngalokho isiyazenzelela ukuthi ibonakale ukukhuthala kwayo nabazali bayithande bengayazi ngoba iyabacabangela. Kubalulekile ukuthi kwazeke ukuthi yileyontombi esuke isimiselwe iduku engenza lokhu hhayi noma ngabe ubani.
Nakanjani uma yenza lokhu nomndeni uyakwazi ukuyikhulumela koqondene nayo ukuthi wakhetha ngempela ngoba unozibani usilethela izinkuni namanzi. Nesisho esithi umendo uyantshontshwa kusuke kushiwo izenzo ezifana nalezi ezingenhla. Umendo wawusetshenzelwa esikhathini sakudala ngoba wawungagani kuphela lomuntu oqondene naye kodwa umndeni wonke wawuba yingxenye enkulu ekwakhiweni kwalowomuzi.
Kanjalo noma usuganile umakoti uyaqhubeka nokukhipha unyawo kubantu basemzini wenzela ukuthi uma kwenzeka umyeni wakho ethatha unkosikazi wesibili kodwa isikhundla sakho singapheli emzini. Uthi uManeli Mkhize lokhu kwakusiza kakhulu uma indoda ingakuthumeleli imali, abafowabo bendoda babekwazi ukunika umakoti kamfowabo okuncane. Noma ngabe iyakunika imali kodwa abakhohlwa umakoti babemnika imali ngoba wayegcina esefana nodadewabo. Manje akusafani ngoba umuntu uma ezithandela indoda yakhe kuphelile omunye angabi nandaba ukuthi umzali wendoda uyaphila kumele enze okuthile.
English Summary
Giving gifts to the groom’s family doesn’t only start when a woman is getting married. In the olden days it started when it was known within families that two people are dating each other. Mostly it was a girl who did or gave more than her partner. This was done so that the girl would be liked by the man’s family because of the things that she does. Back then the main things that a girl would probably do was to bring wood for fire or fetch water but she would leave these outside of the gate because she was not allowed to enter the homestead. Obviously by doing these small things the family will commend her to their son. And this behaviour continued even when she is married because it was important to get along with the mother-in-law, so secret gifts were given to her and she would receive special treatment. This helped her to have her mother-in-law’s support when there were problems with her husband.
By: Nqobile Mdabe