Intombazane uma isizoya kogana iyalulekwa kubo ogogo nentombi eziphethe (iqhikiza). Kusuke kuwukumluleka ngoba lapho eya khona akusekona kubo, futhi uya kubantu angabazi. Kumele abe nendlela ehloniphekile nenesizotha azoziphatha ngayo, nokumbonisa ngezinto angase ahlangabezane nazo emzini ukuze akwazi ukukunqoba ngoba akafuneki umabuyemendweni. Ngokwesintu umakoti uma eyogana uyakotiza ekhaya elikhulu. Yingakho bekuganwa umuntu esemncane ngoba kumele anyakaze ngempela. Umakoti oyivila akafuneki, ikakhulukazi uma kwenziwe imicimbi emikhulu. Lapho umakoti kusuke kufanele abhekane nomsebenzi wonke, kuthi amantombazane omuzi alekelele lapho kuvela khona isikhala.
Ziningi izinto ezilandelwayo uma umuntu wesifazane eyogana nafundiswa zona kubo njengokuhlukana kwezilili endlini, indlela ekufanele akhulume ngayo, ahamba ngayo egcekeni, ukusetshenziswa kwezitsha ezihlukene ekhaya njalonjalo. Izinto abantu abadala abathanda ukugxila kuzona kakhulu yindlela yokuphatha umkhwenyana wakhe. Njengokuthi umkhwenyana uphakelwa kanjani ukudla, kuyambozwa, ukuhambisela umkhwenyane amanzi okugeza, insipho, ichopho, ilahle lokugeza amazinyo namanzi, ambekele nezimpahla ezihlanzekile azozigqoka. Ngaphandle kwamkhwenyana wakhe abanye abantu ababalulekile umamezala nobabezala. Nabo kufanele umakoti ababheke njengoba enza kumyeni wakhe.
Amagama abantu
Abafowabo bendoda akuvunyelwe babizwe ngamagama ngumakoti futhi kubakhona namagama umakoti angavumelekile ukuthi awabize emzini uma lifana nelomuntu wasekhaya. Mhlawumbe kukhona umuntu obizwa ngokuthi uMoyeni, umakoti akalisebenzisi nangephutha igama elithi ‘umoya’, kufanele athole elokuhloniphisa njengokuthi ‘umphukane’ noma asho okunye. Uma kukhona okuthiwa uMvuseni umakoti uzosebenzisa elithi ‘mkhwabuliseni’ esikhundleni sikaMvuseni njalonjalo.
Imisebenzi Yasekhaya
Akamemezi umakoti lapha ekhaya egcekeni, noma ehamba egcekeni uhamba ngemuva kwezindlu. Uvuka ekuseni ukuyokha amanzi azopheka ngawo. Ashanele igceke kuthi beqambe bevuka abomuzi igceke selihlanzekile. Kufanele atheze nezinkuni zihlale zikhona ekhaya.
Uma umyeni engabatholi abantwana
Uma umkhwenyana enenkinga yokungabatholi abantwana kucelwa umfowabo ayongena kumakoti aze amithe umakoti. Indaba ihlanganiswa amalunga athile omndeni, umyeni walomakoti akaziswa ngalokhu ngoba umndeni uthanda ukuthi ahlale ezitshela ukuthi uye ozimithisele. Nomakoti akufanele lendaba ayikhulume, omama abayihlelayo lento bayihlanganisa kahle ize ilunge. Kanjalo uma umkhwenyane enenkinga kungahambi kahle kuye uma beya ocansini nomakoti, bayayixoxa indaba njengabashadikazi bese kuba umakoti omfunela usizo umkhwenyana wakhe ukuze bangahlukani noma angaze agange ngaphandle umakoti.
Lapha sithola ukubaluleka kwesifundo sokuxhumana kusukela lapho umakoti esakhula ekhaya elungiselelwa ukuyogana, nalapho efika emzini. Ufunda ukuhlonipha amagama abantu basemzini, ukuziphatha, kanye nokusiza umyeni wakhe uma enenkinga nokumisa umuzi wakhe.
English Summary
This article is about the importance of communication from when a girl is getting ready to get married, how her family is involved (especially older women) in preparing her for the task ahead, to when she arrives at her in-laws’. The lessons include how she is expected to carry herself, address people around the house, which rooms is she prohibited to enter, the kind of food she is not allowed to eat and so forth. She is even taught to keep family secrets, for instance if her husband is infertile, older women would arrange that the husband’s brother should impregnate her without her husband’s knowledge.
By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane