Ngokwesintu umuntu wesilisa uvakashela intombi ngemuva kokuqomana ngokusemthethweni noma ukumiswa kweduku. Kodwa phela lokhu akuvele kwenziwe budedengu, kufanele kuhlonishwe abadala ekhaya noma sebazi ngalabo abathandanayo. Intombi ezovakashelwa kufanele yazise odadewabo ngesoka elizayo. Lokhu kwakwenzelwa ukuthi bakwazi ukulilungiselela nokuthi bayiyale ngendlela yokuziphatha ngoba phela kwakungasho ukuthi sebeganene. Bazoyisiza nangokuthi bayindlalele lapho bezolala khona nesoka layo. Babelala phansi ngoba bathi akusomeki kahle uma umuntu elele embhedeni.
Isoka liyafika kubo kwentombi sekuhwalala, kusuke sekukhona olindile ukulingenisa lingaze libonwe abantu abaningi ekhaya. Ezikhathini zakudala lalifika lifake ibheshu lalo ehlobile, lizimisele liphethe nenduku nethoshi, lifake izimbadada uma linazo noma lihamba ngazo izinyawo. Esikhathini sanamuhla kufanele isoka ligqoke ngokuzihlonipha, hhayi isikhindi nesikibha esinemikhono emifishane. Nalo isoka ekhaya lisuke libikile kwabathile ukuthi lizoya kuphi, njengentombazane liyatshelwa ngendlela yokuziphatha ekhweni.
Ithoshi laliphathwa uma isoka lizofika sekuhlwe kakhulu ukuthi lilisebenzise njengophawu lokuthi selifikile bese beyalibona balilande. Alilandwa intombi yalo elisuke lize kuyona, kuphuma oyedwa wodadewabo. Uma kungukuthi bafuye izinja kubo kwantombazane kwakufanele liphambane nomoya khona izinja zingezolizwa.
Uma selingenisiwe lilungiselelwa ukudla futhi lidle lishiye. Laliphakelwa endishini enesivalo kuphakwe uphuthu kuthelwe isishebo kuphinde kuthelwe uphuthu nesishebo, ukudla kugcwale bese kuhanjiswa esokeni. Kwakubhekwa nendlela elidla ngayo ngoba kwakulindeleke ukuthi ukudla likukhelele eceleni. Uma seliqedile kwakulethwa namanzi okugeza izinyawo. Ngalesikhathi lalisuke lingakayiboni intombi elize ngayo, konke lokhu kwenziwa amantombazane amanye akulomuzi. Uma kusewusuku lokuqala kuvakasha isoka bazokwakha uzungu lokuthi uma intombi isifikile isoka livale umnyango. Basuke belithume okuthile ukuthi ihambise, isuke ingazi ukuthi isiyolala.
Lokuvakashelana kusuke kusamdlalo futhi ngoba intombi izogqokiswa izimpahla eziningi ngengokuthi ifake amaphenti amathathu, elesithathu kusuke kuwumamhlongo kuyileli elinemilenze, amabhayi amathathu aboshwa amafindo ngokuphambana. Lokhu kwakwenzelwa ukuthi kungabi lula konke ensizweni isebenze nje ngaphambi kokuthi kuqhubeke inkonzo yasekameleni. Intombazane yayiyalwa ukuthi ayikhumuli noma ayizikhumuleli ingakangeni ezingubeni. Mhlawumbe izoqala incengelwe ukuthi izolala ingafuni, mhlawumbe ithi akucishwe isiphefu. Okubalulekile ukuthi kukhona konke intombazane isuke yazi ukuthi ayikagani kusafanele izigcine kahle igcwele.
Kuzothi ezintathakusa intombazane iphume nabanye sebeya kokha amanzi noma beyotheza lapho efika yona ilale kahle iphumule. Lokhu babenza ngoba babazi ukuthi ayilalanga ebusuku kakhulu ngenxa yezinto ezenzekayo, ezimosha izikhathi ngokuthi abazali bangaboni ukuthi ibingalele endlini enkulu nezinye izintombi. Futhi ke ngokwesintu umuntu wesifazane akalali emini, lokhu kuyichilo.
Insizwa nayo ivuka kusempondozankomo iyogeza emfuleni ngaphambi kokuba ingene kubo, kuvele bekugezwa emfuleni, naye ubuthongo mhlawumbe uma esalusa uyobuqedela ezinkomeni. Ontanga wonke amacala basuke sebelangazelele ukuzwa ukuthi kuhambe kanjani, iziyalo zabo zisebenzile yini. Ensizweni novalo lusuke lukhona, akazi ukuthi kuzokwenzekani mhlawumbe kukhona lapho engahambisanga kahle khona.
English Summary
Zulu tradition does not allow a woman to visit her partner, it is the man that visits his girlfriend at her homestead. When this arrangement has been made, some family members are involved in preparing for this visit, in particular girls in the family. Older girls will then give advice to the one that will be visited to remind her that she should not give away her virginity. They prepare food, bath water and make a night bed. It is expected that the man should leave some food on his plate. After all this activity then an older sister will come and tell the man that his girlfriend will be sent in pretence of bringing something, when she arrives he should then lock the door.
Dress code is multiple layers of clothing and underwear to make it difficult but playful at the same time. The woman is told not to take off her clothes before getting to bed. Sometimes she will ask for the lantern to be off before getting into bed. In the early hours of the morning both of them should go their separate ways, the young woman will go to the river to collect water or wood where she sleeps for a while and the young man must start at the river to bath before going home.
It is important to note that only girls and young women in the family are aware of the visit, adults should not be told about this. At the young man’s family some family members are aware and they also play a role in giving him advice on how to carry himself.
By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane