Sibe nengxoxo noMama uThobile Mavuso, ohlala endaweni yaseNanda eCongo. Wazalelwa endaweni yaseShowe weza edolobheni laseThekweni ngokuzosebenza. Umama usixoxela ngomlando owawenziwa kuqala, wenziwa ngomama uma beganele esithenjini, uma omunye wabo engakwazi ukuthola izingane noma ethola izingane eziwubulili obubodwa. Usichazela ukuthi kwakwenziwelani lokho futhi kwakusiza kuphi. Isithembu umkhuba omdala owawenziwa kusaphila okhokho bethu futhi sithandwa kakhulu amadoda asuthayo noma azimele kahle. Kodwa abanye abanumzane isithembu babesithathiswa izinkinga njengokuthi unkosikazi engabatholi abantwana noma uthola izingane zobulili obubodwa ikakhulukazi uma kuzalwa amantombazane. Indoda izothatha omunye unkosikazi ukuze andise isibongo sakubo.
Kwakuthi uma kukhona isimo esinjalo esithenjini, babengahlebani noma basizakale ngenkinga yomunye. Kwakuthi uma oyedwa wamakhosikazi ekhulelwe uma ethola ingane mhlawumbe eyomfana yena esenayo noma enazo wayeyithatha ingane ayinike umnakwabo ukuthi azikhulisele yona njengeyakhe. Naye lona osuke enikeziwe ingane uyikhulise njengeyakhe, nayo ikhule yazi yena njengonina wayo. Kodwa lokhu kwakungabi yimfihlo ngoba kudala omama besithembu babehlala ndawonye njengezelamani futhi indaba yayigcina kubantu abadala. Futhi babakha imizi yabo ndawonye egcekeni elilodwa, ngesinye isikhathi uthole ukuthi basahlala nomamezala kanye nobabezala. Lapho kuleyondlu ekwakuhlala khona laba yilapho ekwakwenzelwa izinto zomndeni njengokushiswa kwempepho. Lendlu yayibizwa ngokuthi yindlu enkulu.
Okubalulekile ukuthi kwakungezona izingane zabafana kuphela ababenikezana zona, owayethola izingane zabafana zodwa wayekwazi ukuthi athathe eyentombazane komunye khona izokwazi ukumsiza ngemisebenzi yasekhaya. Lengane ikhula nje namadlozi asuke azi ukuthi ingane umama wayo umnakwenu owakunika ngoba yonke into eyenzekayo ekhaya iyabikwa kuwona. Uma ingane ikhula zonke izinto izenzela lapho eyakhula khona. Kuyenzeka kube khona isimo lapho izokwazi ukuthi umama wayo wangempela ubani bese ifuna ukuhlangana nezingane zakwabo noma efuna ukubuya endlini yakubo. Noma nawe mama wengane usufuna ukuyihlanganisa nomndeni wakho.
Lokho kuyenzeka kodwa ayifanele ukuthi ivele izihambele. Kumele ukuthi kwenziwe umsebenzi wokumhlanganisa nezingane zakwabo.
Uma kwenziwa lomsebenzi kwakubulawa isilwane kungaba inkomo noma imbuzi kuya ngamandla alowomuntu. Umsebenzi wenzelwa endlini enkulu. Uma sewenziwa kuzoshiswa impepho akhulume okuyena oshisa impepho ukuthi ingane isihlanganiswa nezingane zakubo zangempela. Kodwa ukhulele endlini kamabani kodwa yena uzalwa umasibanibani. Lokho kusuke kwenzelwa ukuthi ingane ezizalwa umama oyedwa zingaxabani. Zizwane ngoba uma zingahlanganiswa ngesilwane zivamise ukuthi zingezwani. Ngoba phela usuke eyekwenye indlu lapho akhulela khona.
Kwesinye isikhathi uma kwenziwa imisebenzi kube khona ukushayisana uma kungeyena umuntu oqondene ngqo nalowo owenzelwa umsebenzi njengokuthi kuthathwe owesilisa wakwenye indlu kuthiwe akashise impepho. Kokunye ubona izingane zakwenu zingakuthandi zikubandlulula noma usumdala. Kuyadingeka ukuthi izingane zihlanganiswe ukuze namadlozi angazixwayi. Ngoba enye ingane igcina isilidunga ikhaya ngokungazwani nezingane zakubo. Uma umuntu enenkinga efana nalena kubalulekile ukuthi akhulumisane nabantu abadala bomndeni, uma bengenawo Amandla umuntu uyazithengela imbuzi ngoba lokhu kuwela nasesizukulwaneni sakho.
English Summary
There are a lot of challenges that can face women that are married polygamous. For instance, not having children or giving birth to the same sex children. This was a challenge because expanding one’s family was or is still seen as an important part of people’s lives. In a case of the above co-wives will come up with a plan of helping the one with a problem. They acted as surrogacy mothers and gave their child to the one in need, who will look after the child as her own. This was not a secret in a family because elders encouraged this practices.
Like in every traditional family when a child is born, a ceremony is performed to introduce him or her to the ancestors. It is important to do this ceremony for peace in the family because there is a belief that if it is not done, the new addition to the family will always be an outcast or problematic. As the child grow older, for some reason he or she finds out about her biological mother and wants to go back home another ritual should be performed to inform the ancestors about the departure and introduction to the new maternal ancestors. It is believed that if this is not done, bad luck will follow that person.
By: Nqobile Mdabe