UMama uNelisiwe Sibiya ohlala eNanda usichazela ukuthi kuqala kwakwenziwa njani uma umamezala ekhipha umakoti indlu yakhe. Kuyaziwa ukuthi uma ngabe umakoti esephuma indlu kusuke kwandiswa umuzi walesosibongo umuntu asuke eganele kusona. Umakoti omdala yena ngesintu akuvamisile ukuthi akhishwe indlu kuvamise ukuthi kukhishwe umakoti ophakathi kuthi umakoti ogane indodana yokugcina yomuzi naye unelungelo lokuhlala nomamezala kodwa okunguyena ophethe yonke into kusuke kungumakoti omdala. Ngoba ngisho umuzi usala naye uma inhloko yomuzi ingasekho emhlabeni. Ngoba phela umakoti omdala uyena othathwa njengondlunkulu osuke esezosiza emzini umamezala wakhe.
Umakoti ufika afundiswe yonke into eyenziwa lapho esuke eganele khona. Kuwumsebenzi kamamezala ukumfundisa yonke into nemithetho yomuzi. Umakoti ophakathi nendawo uyena ovamise ukuthi aphume umuzi kanye nabanye bayaphuma umuzi uma kwenzeka ukuthi indodana endala ithatha isithembu, bonke laba abanye omakoti ibona abazophuma imizi yabo bashiye omdala ekhaya. Njengoba sazi ukuthi esikhathini sakudala amadodana ayengakhi kude nasekhaya ubaba womuzi wayebasikela indawo khona egcekeni ukuthi umuntu azakhele eyakhe indlu.
Kwakuthi uma sebakhile indlu yabo, umamezala wayevuka ekuseni sekuphume ilanga athathe igeja ahambe aye kuleyondlu. Uhamba nje uphethe umlilo noma ilahle alithathe eziko endlini enkulu lapho kuphekelwa khona. Wayefike ambe umgodi omncane phambi komnyango afake ukhuni lelo noma ilahle akhulume athi: “Sesandisa ukudla kube kuningi”.
Phela usuke enza lokhu ngoba umakoti lowo okhishwayo uma ephuma emzini uya kweyakhe indlu usezophekela kuyona. Okwenza ukuthi lomkhuba wenziwe ngumamezala ukuthi kungabi khona lapho kuzokhaleleka ukuthi umakoti washonaphi, uyena osuke ekhipha futhi enika ngisho izibusiso kulowomuzi omusha. Futhi uyazi kahle ukuthi uma nje usuphekile uzomlethela ukudla. Yingakho esuke ethi makwande ukudla.
Umakoti omncane wendodana kamagcino uyasala yena nomdala. Okubalulekile ukuthi wonke amakhosikazi akulomuzi ayazi ukuthi umakoti omdala uyena abaxhumana naye ngezinto noma ngemisebenzi edinga ukwenziwa ekhaya, futhi umakoti omdala ufana nomxhumanisi phakathi komakoti nomamezala futhi uyahlonishwa. Ukukhishwa ngalendlela ukuthi umamezala ayokuqalela umlilo wakho kwakuyindlela enhle kakhulu ngoba kwakungaba khona izingxabano uma umuntu engakhishwanga ngendlela ekhaya. Uma befuna ukuvakashelana kwakubamnandi ekhaya sebehlangene bebonke.
A typical Zulu homestead is where all family members live in one place but in different houses. For instance when the sons are getting married the head of the family will give them a piece of land to build their homes on. In this article we look at how a mother-in-law gave permission or her blessings to the new bride to go to her new home. It is important to note that the first born wife/bride by the virtue of being the eldest son’s wife was not allowed to have her own home, she shared the main house with her mother in law. She was taught all rules and requirements of the family which she will then pass on to other brides within the family. The youngest son’s wife also stayed close to the mother-in-law. For those who were given land when their house is built and ready for them to move in, the mother-in-law will take a log of fire from the fireplace of the main house with a hand hoe and go to the newly built house. In front of the door she will dig a hole and put the burning log or coal and say something along the lines of: “We are increasing food in the family”. This was important for everybody because they believed that it was a blessing from the elders.
By: Nqobile Mdabe