Ziningi izinto ezilandelwayo ngokwesiko laKwaZulu uma intombazane noma umfana esefike esigabeni sokuqoma noma sokuqonywa. Lokhu bekwenzelwa ukuthi bangazitholi sebesenkingeni yokuthola abantwana bengaganene, futhi nokuthi uma sebeqomene kwakunendlela yokuthi baziwe endaweni labo ababili khona bengeke besakwazi ukuthi baqome abanye obekungadala umsindo nokungezwani endaweni. Labo ababili bebelulekwa kakhulu ngabadala ngalezozinto ekufanele bazenze noma bangazenzi ngoba ngesinye isikhathi babehlukana bengakaganani. Lapha sizobheka okwenzekayo uma intombi izithola isikhulelwe kodwa kade isoma nesoka layo.
Ukusoma
Umuntu ubelulekwa uma esamise iduku, sekwaziwa ukuthi uqonywe yintombi yakwa bani ukuze lingenzeki iphutha lokuthi uma behlukana kanti usemonile noma usengene esibayeni somnumzane, noma intombi isizithwele. Lokhu kwakungavumelekile ngoba intombi akube kusabalula ukuthi igane ontanga yabo uma isizele ingane ngaphandle komshado. Esikhathini sakudala uma intombi kwenzekile yakhulelwa ibigana amakhehla aseshonelwe ngabafazi bawo. Beziqikelelwa lezinto ngoba ukuthi kuyasonywa. Bebefundiswa ukuthi kusonywa kanjani intombazane ibitshelwa ukuthi kumele iqinise umzimba ingawudedeli ngoba kungase kubekhona okunyenyayo noma okushibilikayo ngesikhathi belele nowesilisa. Insizwa beyifundiswa ukuthi akuvumelekile ukungena esibayeni sendoda, yayitshelwa ukuthi kufanele izikhululele eceleni hhayi emathangeni entombi ngoba kwakusatshelwa ukuthi isidoda sizoshibilika ngoba sizwa ukushisa singene ngaphakathi entombini okungaholela ekutheni ikhulelwe intombi.
Ukuphikwa kwengane
Uma kwenzekile intombi yakhulelwa umfana waphika ukuthi nguyena oyikhulelisile ngenxa yokuthi bebesoma. Intombi yayithethiswa kubo futhi beyisola ukuthi iyona ethambise umzimba. Ngesinye isikhathi intombi kwakwenzeka umfana ayiphike uma bebeyisola ukuthi ayiziphethe kahle. Lokho bekugcina kuholele ekutheni umndeni womfana uthi bazobona ngengane uma seyizelwe. Kuba yihlazo emndenini wakubokantombazane lokhu ngoba akekho umzali ofisela ingane yakhe okubi. Uma seyizelwe ingane izalukazi zomndeni wakubo kamfana bayayibheka ingane ukuthi inazo yini izimpawu zakubo uma kunjalo bebehlawula. Inhlawulo isuke seyengeziwe kunaleyo ejwayelekile ngoba phela kusuke sekufakwa nokuthi umndeni uhlambalazekile endaweni. Umfana ubehlawula, intombi, izintombi zendawo, inkosi ukuthi wenze umkhuba endaweni, ahlawule nobaba wentombi ukuthi uyiphikile.
Ukwakhelwa ilawu kwentombi
Ngokwesintu uma intombi sekwaziwa ukuthi iqomile beyinikwa ilawu layo lapho ekuzongena khona isoka layo. Kodwa ibingalali kulona uma iyodwa beyilaliswa nezinye izintombi ngoba kubalekelwa ukuthi kungenziwa eminye imikhuba kulona. Kwakuthi uma kuzofika isoka intombi ibonakale ngokuthi ihlanze ilawu lelo ilungisa nokudla kodwa kwakubalulekile ukuthi yazise odadewabo abadala noma umama wayo ukuze babe nolwazi lokuthi kukhona ozofika. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi nguye ngempela yini lowo owaziwayo abadala babethuma ingane yasekhaya ukuthi iyokwenza okuthile elawini khona izobona ukuthi ngubani okhona. Lomkhuba wawungavumelekile ukuthi wenziwe isikhathi eside ngoba kwakufanele basheshe baganane phela. Nakhona lapho intombazane beyilulekwa ukuthi mayingavumi ukungenisa umfana esibayeni sikayise kuze kube iyashada naye noma bayaganana izwe libuka.
English Summary
In our previous articles we have looked at dos and don’ts of what is expected of a young couple who have just started dating, how they engage in sexual intercourse and so on. Here we look at what happens when a girl falls pregnant while they did ‘ukusoma’ and the man denies responsibility. When this happens both families especially the boy’s family would wait until the birth of the child to see if it has their features. And for the girl’s family this is a hard time because they don’t know what to expect and for the girl it is a trying time. When they have seen that the child is theirs they have to pay for damages and also to add a cow for the embarrassment they have caused the girl’s father in the community by denying the pregnancy.
By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane