Sonke siyazi ukuthi izinga lokuxabana noma lokulwa ebantwini ababili abathandanayo noma abashadile liphezulu kakhulu ezweni lethu. Lokhu abantu abaningi bazitshela ukuthi kungumkhuba ofika nesikhathi samanje noma sanamuhla kodwa iqiniso lithi lomkhuba kade waqala. Okujwayelekile ukuthi kutholakale kungumuntu wesifazane oshawayo, lapha sibheka indlela ekwenziwa ngayo uma kungumuntu wesilisa oshayiwe ngowesifazane.
UGogo Pretty Ndlovu ohlala Ematikwe, Inanda usixoxele ngololudaba ukuthi kungabe kulungile yini ukuthi umuntu wesifazane ashaye umuntu wesilisa ikakhulukazi lowo asuke eshade naye ngoba lento ayijwayileki ukuthi yenzeke nakuqala kwakuba ihlazo elikhulu. Abaningi bazovumelana noGogo Ndlovu ukuthi uma kuziwa kuloludaba lubanzima ngoba umuntu wesifazane wayeshaywa umyeni wakhe kodwa kungabi ndaba zalutho, abasemzini babengayingeni eyababili. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu wayesuke kubo etsheliwe ukuthi umendo awuthunyelwa gundane babebekezela noma kunjalo.
Ngokwesintu kuyihlazo elikhulu ukuthi umuntu wesifazane ashaye umuntu wesilisa ngoba kunenkolelo yokuthi umehlisa isithunzi sokuba umuntu wesilisa kubantu abasuke bebona kanye nasezinganeni zakhe ezingeke zisamhlonipha ngendlela efanele njengenhloko yomuzi. Futhi kuthiwa lowomuntu wesilisa ulandelwa ngamashwa agcina esedlulele ezinganeni zakhe izinto zingahambi kahle.
UGogo uthi uma kwenzekile kwaze kwafika esigabeni lapho umuntu wesifazane ephindisela khona ngoba umyeni wakhe emshaya kufanele ngemuva kwesigameko owesifazane ahlalise phansi umyeni wakhe amchazele ukuthi ubengaqondile futhi axolise lokhu okokuzithoba ngempela amnike nelungelo lakhe njengenhloko yomuzi futhi aqinisekise ukuthi usexole ngempela.
Kuthiwa ezikhathini zakudala uma ubaba wekhaya eshaya umama wayebaleka aye kwenye indlu lapho azikhona ukuthi ngeke asamushayela kuyona uma engenile kuyona njengendlu yabantu abadala. Ngoba into ababesuke beyibalekela ukuthi isithunzi singehli njengomuntu wesilisa egcekeni ngisho kubafowabo. Uma umakoti lowo enenhlanhla kwakubizwa umhlangano womndeni kuxoxwe ngezinkinga ezikhona njalonjalo. Yilapho abanye abantu besilisa bekuveza khona ukuthi abafazi babo bayabashaya, omunye aveze nokuthi usehlalele ukukhulisa kahle izingane zakhe. Omunye umuntu wesilisa wayekwazi ukufakela umkakhe icala emndeni awutshele ukuthi akaxoshwe alikhiphe elokuthi ngeke yena ahlala nenye indoda emzini kababa wakhe, izinkunzi ezimbili azihlali esibayeni esisodwa kumele kube khona egobayo. Kweminye imindeni babemuxosha umakoti noma kuthiwe akahlawule ukuxolisa emadlozini omuzi.
Ngokwabantu abadala noma bengavumelani nokushayana kwabantu kodwa bathi umuntu oshaya indoda yakhe usuke ezilethela iziqalekiso zodwa nolaka lwabaphansi. Sikhumbule nokuthi futhi kuthiwa inxeba lomuntu wesifane liphuza ngisho ukuphola njengoba umuntu wesifazane engavumelekile ukuthi abuke inxeba lomuntu wesilisa ngoba liyaphuza ukuphola. Esikhathini sanamuhla izinto sezingcono ngoba abantu sebeyakwazi ukuthi baye kobika nasemaphoyiseni noma bacele ukuvikeleka.
English Summary
This article looks at what happens if a woman is physically abusive to a man. Since the olden days domestic violence has been happening such that family members turned a blind eye if it was a woman who was being abused by the husband. But when a woman defends herself the whole family would be involved. She will be told about the anger of the ancestors and the bad luck she will get for hitting her husband. And also if it’s a man that is being abused, children’s respect is also brought in because they claim that the husband will lose his children’s respect. The woman is required to ask for forgiveness to some extent, they have to appease the ancestors by slaughtering a goat.
By: Nqobile Mdabe