Ukukhulelwa kwentombi ingakagani kuyichilo elikhulu cishe kuzona zonke izinhlanga emhlabeni. Yingakho abazali bezama ngawo wonke amandla abo ukuthi lokhu kungenzeki ezinganeni zabo. Kodwa zikhona izimo ezidlula lokho kuzivikela kwabazali lenzeke ihlazo ekhaya. UMama uMatshitshi Zulu owazalelwa endaweni yakwaMaphumulo kodwa osezinze endaweni yaseNanda eCongo, usixoxele ngezizathu ezazibangela ukuthi intombi ixoshwe emagcekeni omuzi wakubo uma kutholakala ukuthi ikhulelwe ingashadile.
Kuthiwa uma ekhaya kutholakala ukuthi intombazane ukuthi ikhulelwe ubaba wayo wayeyixosha ngalesosikhathi. Isizathu esikhulu kwakuyilo ihlazo elithele emzini wakhe umnumzane wokukhulelwa ingaganile. Uma intombazane ixoshwa ekhaya kwakungafanele ibalekele ezihlotsheni kodwa kwakusuke kufanele ihambe ilibhekise kulowomuzi esuke ikhuleliswe kuwona.
Esinye isizathu esasenza ukuthi ixoshwe ekhaya ukuthi kwakunenkolelo enkulu yokuthi amadlozi azozibuza ukuthi sekunomakoti yini ekhaya kodwa wona awaziswanga ngokwesiko. Lokho kwakungawenza athukuthele kuze kuholele ekutheni kuphuphume isisu ngoba sasingavikelekile njengoba abantu bekholelwa ukuthi kukhona konke okwenzekayo ezimpilweni zabo amadlozi ayabavikela kakhulu. Abanye abantu abadala babesabela izinto ezinjalo ezazingase zenzeke yingakho kukhona nomkhuba wokubikwa kwengane uma izelwe kweminye imizi.
Intombi leyo yayithatha imithwalo yayo ilibhekise kuboka mfana ifike ime esangweni ilinde baze bayingenise. Nabo babeqale bayibuze izizathu zokuthi yafika nemithwalo, kwenzenjani? Ithi uma isiluchazile udaba lwayo nomfana wavuma ingeniswe ngaphakathi emagcekeni omuzi ihlale kuqale amalungiselelo okuthi kuyohlawulwa. Lokhu kusuke kungachazi ukuthi isizogana kodwa kusuke kufanele kuhanjiswe inhlawulo kubokantombi. Iyona esuke ithunyiwe nguyise hhayi ukuqhutshwa ngomama. Uma sebehlawulile intombazane yayisibuyela ekhaya ngoba namadlozi ayesuke esetsheliwe ngokwesiko.
UMama usivezela nokuthi kwakuxoshwa ngisho intombi esilotsholwa uma kutholakale ukuthi isizithwele, nayo kuthiwe ayihambe iyolanda inhlawulo. Ngoba umthetho wawungasho ukuthi umuntu usengakhulelwa esalotsholwa, kwakufanele alinde aze agcagce ngokuphelele kuyima umuntu ethola izingane esesemzini wakhe. Lokhu kusalandelwa ezindaweni eziningi ezisemakhaya.
Kwakubalulekile kakhulu ukuthi bakwenze lokhu nokuthi bakhombise nenhlonipho kulabo abeza ngemuva kwalowo omdala ukubafundisa ukuthi kunezinto ezingenziwa noma ezingeke zenziwe kulowomuzi.
Izikhathi ziyashintsha nokwenza kwabantu kuhambisane nazo ngoba manje sekuchilo ukuthi umuntu akhulelwe engaganile aze aphindelele athole izingane ehlala ekhaya futhi kungahlawulwa. Kubalulekile ukuthi kuqhutshekwe ngendlela yakudala ingane ihlawulwe ukugcina isiko.
In most cultures it is not accepted that a young woman must fall pregnant out of wedlock. There are rules in families and even in societies of how people should behave to avoid things like these. But there are circumstances that are beyond a parent’s reach that can lead to their daughter falling pregnant. Mama Matshitshi Zulu told us the reasons why it was important for a family to chase the young woman away if she is pregnant. This was not done because they did not love her or they did not want anything to do with her but were following a set custom.
It was done as a lesson to young ones not to follow her steps but most importantly it was done because ancestors were going to wonder about the new member of the family, assuming that it’s a new bride that was not introduced to them as it was only expected that a married woman should fall pregnant. There was a belief that ancestors may cause a miscarriage to the pregnant woman. So it was done also to protect the foetus.
The pregnant woman takes her clothes and must go to the man’s family. On her arrival she waited at the gate until they see her. Then an older person will enquire about her visit, where she tells them the message from her father. Only then she will be allowed to enter the gate and the process of paying for damages will begin. Then the woman will return home because the family would inform the ancestors and apologise for what the family name has gone through.
It is important to note that the same principle applies to an engaged woman that falls pregnant before she gets married.
By: Nqobile Mdabe