Izibizo yizipho ezilethwa ngabasekhweni uma kulotsholwa intombi, yilezi ezibizwa ngezingxoxo zokuqala zamalobolo. Lapha sizobheka ukuthi uma umndeni ungezwani noma ungangenelani lezizipho kungabe zinikezwa abantu abaqondene nazo ngempela yini. Kuyiqiniso elingephikiswe ukuthi kukhona imindeni engangenelani ngenxa yezimo ezithile.
Kuthiwa esikhathini esiningi kuvamise ukuthi kube omakoti abaxoshwa emzini bahambe nezingane umuntu azakhele umuzi wakhe yedwa. Uma isimo sesifana nalesi uthola ukuthi uma sekunemicimbi yokuganiselana izibizo zitholwe yilabo abasuke besondelene nomakoti kodwa abakubo kababa wezingane noma abasemzini bangatholi lutho. Kweminye imizi bambathisa ngisho abantu abangezona izihlobo zegazi ngoba nje bejwayelene kakhulu nabo.
Lezinto ezifana nalezi ziyadumaza futhi zikhombisa ngokusobala ukuthi umndeni uhlukene kangakanani. Kodwa okungaqondakali ukuthi basuke bexhumene yini ngaphambi komcimbi kwase kubakhona ukuhlukana kwemibono noma kusaqhubeka inzondo ekhona phakathi kwaleyomindeni emibili. Okuvelayo ukuthi uma kunokungezwani emndenini kufanele izibizo zibahlanganise nabo bese ziyathathwa lezo eziqondene nalabo abasuke bengekho zibekwe hhayi ukuthi zinikwe abantu bangaphandle. Kuthi uma sekudlule umsebenzi zihanjiswe kubaninizo ukuthi kugcineke isiko lokuthi bazitholile izinto ngengane yabo.
Lokhu kuyasiza nakulowo osuke egana noma eganwa ngoba uzisusela amashwa angamlandela ngokungambathisi abantu abafanele. Kuthiwa umuntu ovamise ukuthi abe necala kakhulu uma ingane sekukhona izinto ezingalungi kuyona umzali ngoba ekugcineni ziyadingeka ukuthi zikhokhwe lezozimpahla. Okubalulekile noma okuyisifundo kulendaba ukuthi noma ngabe umndeni awuboni ngaso linye kodwa uma kunezinto ezihlanganisa idlozi noma umndeni kufanele zihlonishwe futhi zihanjiswe ngendlela efanele nokuthi uma kukhona ongaphumelelanga abekelwe okuqondene naye.
English Summary
Family disputes can cause tension or that people don’t visit each other because of the hatred they have. Traditional ceremonies can be a challenge if there is a situation like this in a family because ancestors are to be respected at all times. In this article we look at a traditional ceremony where gifts are exchanged between families when there will be a wedding in who gets what and when. In most cases both maternal and paternal families receive these gifts from either a bride or a groom’s family. And if there is a dispute what happens to the gifts for those who didn’t make it to the ceremony. In some families they even opt in giving family friends gifts but this may lead to ancestors being angry and the family should do the ceremony again. It is recommended that these gifts should not be given to other people except the rightful owner.
By: Nqobile Mdabe
Sources: Mama Neli Sibiya noMakhosazana Mdabe