Inhlawulo noma ukuxolisa kukamamezala uma eshaye umakoti wakwakheSibe nengxoxo nomama uMakhosazane Mdabe. Umama usixoxela ngenkinga eyenzekayo uma umamezala ebeka umakoti wakwakhe isandla noma emshaya ukuthi uma esefuna ukuxolisa wenza kanjani noma emngenisa ekhaya ngoba abanye omamezala ukungezwani kwabo kwakufika ezingeni lapho umakoti wayengangeni emzini. Izizathu ezinye kwakungaba nje ukuthi akathandwa umakoti.
Umamezala umama ozala umkhwenyana walowomakoti. Basuke beganene ngokuphelele labo ababili. Umuntu wesilisa uma esezingeni lokuganwe wayezikhethela umuntu wesifazane ayefuna ukuphilisana naye impilo yakhe yonke. Kodwa kwakukhona izimo lapho umamezala kwakunguye owayekhethela indodana yakhe umuntu lowo. Uma kungukuthi indodana yona ifuna owayo ongathandwa noma ongakhethwangwa ngunina ezinye zezinkinga zazisukela lapho. Ngoba lowomakoti akasoze amukeleka kulowomuzi.
Ukubaluleka kukamakoti noma kokuganwa kwensizwa kubalulekile kakhulu ngokwesintu ngoba lowomuntu usuke ezosiza umamezala osuke esemdala ukwenza eminye imisebenzi yasekhaya nakho ke ukuthi kufanele andise umuzi aganele kuwona ngokuthola abantwana. Njengoba lapha sibheka ukungezwani kukamamezala nomakoti wakwakhe kuningi okungalungi ngoba umuntu ekufanele afundise umakoti izinto noma imisebenzi ekhaya nguyena umamezala.
Kuke kwenzeke isimo singahambi kahle kuze kufike ezingeni lokuthi umamezala amshaye umakoti ngoba engamfuni amtshele ukuthi akahambe emzini wakhe. Ngempela umakoti aze agcine ngokuhamba mhlawumpe umkhenyana wakhe amthathe amakhele owakhe umuzi ngaphandle kwegceke lakubo. Umakoti aze agcine esethole abantwana engangenelani nomamezala wakhe. Kwayisemandulo ukushawa komuntu kwakuyicala elibi kakhulu ngoba umuntu kwakufanele ahluwule ukuxolisa kulowo asuke embeke isandla bese kushwelezwa kwabangasekho.
Lomkhuba noma lesenzo siba sibi kakhulu ngoba kusuke kuhlanganisa amadlozi emizi emibili, ngoba asuke etsheliwe ngokuganana kwalabo ababili. Lokhu okuholela ekutheni kufanele kushwelezwe kuwona amadlozi.
Okwenziwa Ngumamezala
Umamezala wayebiza umhlangano womndeni uma esefuna ukushweleza kumakoti nasemadlozini. Uzokhuluma nomndeni uma sebebonisene, bathatha imbuzi kuhanjwe kuyiwe kamakoti bakhuleke esangweni basho ukuthi bazoshweleza. Imbuzi iyona abaxolisa ngayo bewumndeni ukuthi umamezala wambeka isandla umakoti. Abakuboka makoti bazothatha imbuzi leyo bayibike empephweni ukuthi kufike abantu basemzini wengane leyo bezoxolisa ngokwenzeka.
Kuzothi uma sebeqedile ukwenza lokho kuzothathwa umakoti ayiswe emzini angeniswe ngembuzi ukuthi njengoba kwenzeka umakoti wabekeka isandla useyangeniswa futhi emadlozini asekhaya, bamamukele kube sekuthelelwana namanzi.
Uma kwenzikile kugcine kungathelelwanga amanzi kuvamise ukuba yinkinga ngoba kusuke kunecala nengane ziyachaphazeleka ngoba uma zithi ziya kubo kuba khona inkinga kuzona ezinye ziyagula noma lapho ithi ingane ifuna ukuvakasha kuba ivele igule. Lapho kusuke sekudinga ukuthi umama wengane noma umakoti ahambe ame ngaphandle kwesango lasemzini acele ukuthi bambizele umamezala wakhe ukuthi benze inhlambuluko. Usuke esenzela isimo sengane noma umamezala yena uqobo lakhe uyahamba aye kumakoti akakhulume ukuthi axolise kodwa ngesilwane kubalulekile kakhulu.
Kuningi okungaba yimbangela yokuthi izingane zingene kogogo wazo noma ngabe umama wazo akangenelani nomamezala ngoba kwesinye isikhathi izingane ziyaya kagogo wazo zivakashe noma kunemisebinzi. Ziningi izinto ezingavela uma izingane ziya lapho kungangenelwana khona. Njengoba ngenhla sishilo ukuthi abanye bayagula baphathwa ngamazinyo. Kodwa uthi ungahamba kulowomuzi usinde kukhona okusuke kushaya amanzi.
English Summary
Forgiveness is important in our lives. Some traditional people still believe that if there is a misunderstanding between family members there would be no forgiveness if they don’t slaughter a goat to apologise to the ancestors for what has happened. This article looks at a case of a mother-in-law who does not want her daughter-in-law in such a way that she bit her up. It looks at how she should go about apologising to the ancestors of the daughter-in-law and then welcoming her back into the family by slaughtering another goat to inform the ancestors about the return of her son’s wife.
By: Nqobile Mdabe