Inhlawulo Ekhokhwa Ngabakhongi Uma Kulotsholwa
Ngibe nengxoxo noMama Zinhle Shabalala ohlala endaweni yase-Inanda owazalelwa kaMaphumulo. Umama usichazele ngamahlawulo akhokhwa ngabakhongi uma kuzolotsholwa. Ezikhathini zakuqala inhlonipho kwakuyinto eyayikhona futhi abantu bakuqala babesigcina isikhathi njengokuthi uma ngabe umuntu wayethi uzofika ngokukhala kweqhude lokuqala kwakufanele enze njengokusho kwakhe.
Abakhongi nabo kwakubalulekile ukuthi bagcine isikhathi abasishilo emzini wendoda uma bezolobola kwakumele ngempela bafike ngalo ngisho isikhathi uma besinqumile. Kwakwenzeka ukuthi ngesinye isikhathi ngezimo ezingaphezulu kwamandla abo bangakwazi ukufika njengoba behlelile. Bese bebuya benquma olunye usuku sekuyothi ngesikhathi noma ngosuku abazofika ngalo ngaphambi kokuthi kuqhubeke izingxoxo zamalobolo bazoqala bahlawuliswe ngesenzo sabo.
Isikhathi esiningi sebecelwa inhlawulo yemali ngokuthi abafikanga ngosuku okwakufanele bafike ngalo, lokhu kuya nangokuthi bahlehlise kangaki ukufika kwabo kuzobalwa lezozinsuku. Futhi babengakwazi ukuphikisana nalesigwebo ngoba kwakungeke kuqhutshekwe bengahlawulanga. Kuzothi amadoda ekhaya uma eseyifunile inhlawulo eqondene nawo bese eyasho ukuthi nomama bayakhala ngamandla abo abawasebenzisa ukulungisela ukufika kwabo kodwa bangafiki.
Ukwenza kwemizi akufani ngoba kweminye abakhongi bayaye bahlawulele wonke amadoda asuke ekade elindile ukuzoxoxa ngelobola. Kweminye bajeziswe ngokuthi balindiswe isikhathi eside ngaphandle kwesango bengangeniswa ngaphakathi komuzi. Lesisenzo sasingaphikiswa muntu ngoba kusuke kuyisinqumo somnumzane ukujezisa abasemzini abazokhonga. Kuzothi ngokudlula kwamahlawulo kuyima kuqala izingxoxo zamalobolo. Kuyenzeka ukuthi abakhongi basuke bengayiphethe imali yalokhu ngoba basuke bengakulindile ngesinye isikhathi, bese kuyavunyelwana ukuthi bazoyengeza ezinkomeni zelobolo.
Isikhathi sibalulekile nokugcina izithembiso uma ulindise abantu abadala kusuke kumele ukuthi ukhiphe lemali abasuke beyifunile. Ngokuthi banquma malini angeke sazi kahle ngoba kusuke kukhuluma amadoda, umuntu wesifazane ezindabeni ezinje akadingeki.
Mama Zinhle Shabalala of Inanda originally from KwaMaphumulo shared that in the olden days it was important to keep time when people approached a girl’s family for lobola negotiations. These negotiations included family members living even afar, uncles of the girl. So it was important that the delegation should be on time on the exact date that they have mentioned in their letter to the girl’s parents.
There are situations that are beyond their control that may cause the delay or even to cancel the suggested date to another one. Regarding this the girl’s family has a right to ask for a payment of inconvenience from the delegation. The head of the family is negotiated by his brother as he is not allowed to speak to the delegation before they offer him a payment in kind that will allow him to open his mouth. When the men are happy about the payment then it’s a women’s turn to ask for their payment as they had prepared food on the day that was cancelled. When all the parties are happy lobola negotiations can begin.
It is important to note that some families might do this differently by not allowing the delegation to enter the yard for a certain time as a sign of punishment.
By: Nqobile Mdabe