Izimpahla Ezitholwa Uma Kulotsholwa Ngezigaba Zazo

Abantu abambathayo noma abathola izifo umakugana intombi nezigaba abathola ngazo ngaphambi kokuthi kushadwe noma kugcagwe. Ziningi izindlela abantu abazilandelayo ngoba kukhona izindawo noma izigodi lapho kungacelwa khona kuvele kukhokhwe amalobolo kuphela bese kuyashadwa. Asikho isikhathi esibekiwe ukuthi kulotsholwane ngaso kuya nangamandla abantu ngoba uma kuwumuntu odla izambane likapondo kuyashesha.

Abantu abajwayele ukuthi nakanjani bathole yilaba:
Ubaba ozala intombi; umama wentombi, odadewabo wentombi; umfowabo omdala; ugogo wentombi ozala uyise, udadewabo kamama wentombi.

Ukuphana noma Ukushintshana Ngezipho
Abakhongi bafika ekhweni bakhokhe amalobolo kuthi uma sebehamba bathatha isicephu ekade kubalelwa kusona imali kanye nogologo omhlophe, lokhu kusuke kuwuphawu lokuthi bavunyiwe ekhweni konke kuhambe kahle. Bese begoduka nencwadi yezibizo zangakamakoti, kuyenzeka kube ukuthi bayiphethe neyabo incwadi yebizo abayishiya ekhweni.

Izinkomo zokulobola intombi ziyishumi nambili, zibizwa ngokuthi amabheka. Esikhathini sakudala zazikhokhwa ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kuba izibizo zikababa nezikamama, lokhu kuhluka ngezigodi. Izibizo zikamama zinkulu kunezikababa kodwa uma intombi isinengane umama akabizi lutho kuba ezikababa kuphela, kuthiwa umama akazothola lutho ngoba wahluleka ukulusa inkomo yakhe.

Ngelanga lomcelo izalukazi zithola nogwayi wazo. Ngalelilanga lokulethwa kwezibizo lapho kusuke kulethwa obikibiki (balethwa ukhwenyana), yilapho kuqala khona ukuthi kuphiwane ngezipho yomibili imindeni. Kusuke kumbathiswa abakamakoti ngalolusuku. Izipho ezijwayelekile kuba amaphinifa namaduku nezingubo zokulala kubona bonke laba ababalwe ngenhla. Uma kukhona ongambathanga okufanele ambathe kuba nomkhokha omubi owenzekayo, noma ngabe akekho lowo kumele ambathe ube esethathelwa abanye ngoba kuyonakala futhi kukhaleleke ukuthi ubani akambathiswanga kube kufanele ambathe.

Imbuzi Kababa
Isikhwehlela sikababa kuba yimbuzi embethe ingubo inqwaziswe ithawula; kube indishi enommese; insipho; usawoti; ikesi likabhiya nebhodlela
lagologo. Imbuzi leyo kababa ihlatshwa ngalelolanga ntambama kushiswe nempepheni kutshelwe amadlozi ukuthi bekwenzakalani ekhaya. Bese silengiswa siphekwe ngakusasa isilwane.

Imbuzi Kagogo
Kuba yimbuzi kagogo ozala ubaba wentombazane, kuthiwa imbuzi yamakhambi, ayihlatshwa uma umndeni uthanda uyayifuya. Lembuzi kuthiwa eyagogo ngoba wayehamba efuna amakhambi okuchatha efunela intombi leganayo.
Udadewabo Nabafowabo Bentombi Nabanye
Udadewabo wentombi omdala uthola imbuzi, kodwa uma efuna imali uyanikwa kuya ngokuthi uthe ufunani. Abafowabo kantombi bayathola nabo kuyangokuthi babizelweni. Nomama bakuleyondlu bayathola, amakhosikazi obaba omncane, bathola amaphinifa namaduku nezingubo. Nogogo bathola lezozipho kanye nodadewabo kamama wentombi uyathola uma kuwukuthi wayewumzanyana wentombi leganayo.

Ngemuva kwesikhwehlela kube sekuya abakamakoti kubokamfana kuthiwa lokho ukugqiba izinyawo zabakhongi. Umakoti usuke ehambisa umbondo omncane. Uma sekulethwe ubikibiki kulandela umbondo omkhulu. Abangakamkhwenyana baletha ibhodwe lesizulu kamakoti, lowo olithwele uzothulwa ngemali ayisho yena inani yayo. Bese ubaba wentombi akhiphe indlakudla kamkhwenyane nendlakudla kamkhongi, umkamkhongi yena uthola iphinifa neduku nengubo yokulala kamkhongi. Kube indlakudla kadadewabo kamkhwenyana. Imbuzi eya kumama kamkhwenyana ibizwa ngokuthi uhhudo. Indlakudla kamkhongi nekamkhwenyana iyadliwa bese befaka inyongo yalezombuzi.

English Summary
During lobola negotiations there is a lot of gift exchange between the two families. There is no time frame set for lobola negotiations until the couple gets married, this depends on finances of the groom-to-be. There are certain people that have to get these gifts: father of the bride-to-be, her mother, sisters, brothers, paternal grandmother and her mother’s sister.

The groom’s delegation takes with them the grass mat that was used to count money at the girl’s home, with a bottle of brandy. This is a sign of their acceptance by the family. During this stage they also take a list of all the gifts requested by the girl’s family. Mother’s gift request are expensive than of the father only if the girl is still a virgin.

On engagement day, old women receive a gift in a form of money to buy tobacco, goats, blankets, pinafores and head scarfs are part of the gift for the few selected to receive. The father of the girl receives a goat that should be slaughtered the same day in the afternoon and let it hang overnight; basin, knife, soap, salt, crate of beer and whiskey. Paternal grandmother also receives a goat, it can be slaughtered or just kept with family livestock. Sister also receives a goat or some money depending on what she chose. The rest of the family receives clothes.

The girl’s family also gives gifts on this day just before the groom’s delegation enters the yard. They give the groom and his head negotiator goats as a sign that they can eat when they are at the inlaws.

After this ceremony, young bride should take gifts to the groom’s family. The groom’s sister also gets a goat and one for his mother.

By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane