Izigaba Zamalobolo

Ukucelwa Kwesihlobo Esihle
Ngalelilanga umfana osuke esezoganwa uthumela abakhongi ekhweni ukuthi bayomcelela isihlobo esihle. Ngokwesintu babefika bevunule bephelele ngalolusuku. Bayangeniswa endlini uma sebekhulekile ngaphandle komuzi bese umnumzane wekhaya ebabuza ukuthi bayamazi yini lowo abeze ngaye ekhaya. Uyavuma umkhongi uma kungukuthi uyamazi ababuze neminye imibuzo njengokuthi bayazi ukuthi usenengane nalapho bavume noma baphike. Kubalulekile ukuthi umzali aziveze lezinto kwabasemzini wentombi yakhe.

Ngokwesiko kubalulekile ukuthi ngaphambi kokuqala kwezingxoxo umakoti bakwazi ukumkhomba abakhongi, lapho kubizwa zonke izintombi ezikhona egcekeni ukuthi zizovela lapho kuxoxelwa khona bese umkhongi eyakhetha intombi abeze ngayo kulowomuzi. Lamantombazane ayatshelwa ukuthi kufanele ambheke emehlweni umkhongi ngoba basuke befuna ukumdidisa ngoba ngokwesintu umakoti uyashalaza. Uma umkhongi eseyibonile intombi abeze ngayo uyasukuma akhiphe imali afike ayibeke ekhanda lentombi leyo njengophawu lokuhlonipha. Akufanele ayithinte ngoba uzohlawula kakhulu. Zibe seziqala izingxoxo zamalobolo.

Uma sebehamba abakhongi baphelezelwa zingane zakulowomuzi zisuke zithunyiwe ukuthi azohlwitha induku koyedwa umkhongi zibuyele nayo ekhaya. Lokhu kuwuphawu lokuthi bamukelwe futhi umakoti uzohambisa umbondo maduze kodwa bona bawubiza ngokuthi kuhanjiswa induku kamkhongi. Kwenzinye izindawo lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ingqibamasondo noma ukugqiba izinyawo zabakhongi. Lesi kusuke kuwuphawu lokuthi intombi yakwabani seyiceliwe.

Ukuphindiselwa Kwenduku
Ngalelilanga abakamakoti abaya kamkhwenyana, ukuhambisa lenduku eyathathwa izingane ngosuku lomcelo. Induku isuke ingasahambi yodwa ngoba basuke bethwele izipho njenga: amaphinifa, amaduku asekhanda, ukudla okunhlobonhlobo, izitsha njalonjalo. Lapha kumbatha noma lezimpahla ezithwele zinikwa odadewabo nabafowabo kamkhwenyana kanye nodadewabo kababa kamkhwenyana (ubabekazi), omakoti bobaba noma bomalume bakamkhwenyana. Lapha bashiya uhla lwezinto ezizodingwa ubaba kamakoti ngelanga likabikibiki, nomkhwenyane abaphathise uhla lomabo.

Isikhwehlela
Umkhwenyana usuke eselethele ubaba kamakoti izinto zakhe ayezibize ngesikhathi bezocela isihlobo esihle abakhongi. Kuye kube imbuzi ebizwa ngokuthi ubikibiki isuke yembethe ingubo, ijazi, isigqoko, ugwayi, imbazo, ibhodwe lokupheka lesintu. Abazali bamkhwenyana ababi yingxenye yokuhambisa lezizinto, bayambathiswa bonke abasekhweni ngalelilanga, baphiwe nokudla. Ngalelilanga kusuke kuhanjiswa izinto zikababa, ezikamama zizolandela.

Ukuhanjiswa Kwemichilo
Ngemuva kwesikhwehlela sikababa, abakamakoti bahambisa imichilo yezimbuzi noma izintambo ezazibophe izimbuzi ezasala ekhweni. Lapha kusuke sekuhamba umbondo omkhulu emzini. Nangalomcimbi abazali bakhe umakoti abahambi basala ekhaya. Uma sekuhanjiswa lokho, kuthiwa ziba zimbili izimbuzi ezisuke zimbethe izingubo zinqwaziswe namathawula nalapho kusuke kukhona nokudla okuningi okunhlobonhlobo yingakho kuthiwa umbondo omkhulu.

Ubikibiki
Ngalelilanga kusuke kulethwe izipho zikamama wentombi nabanye kulethwa umkhwenyana, nakhona izingubo zokulala, amaphinifa, amaduku, indishi noma ubhavu noma ubhasikidi, izinto zokugeza, izinto zokwenza itiye njengezinkomishi, amaketelo, ushukela, itiye nokunye. Kwezinye izindawo ubikibiki nesikhwehlela sikababa kwenziwa ngosuku olulodwa. Ngemuva kwalokho ubaba kamakoti kusuke sekufanele ayobona inkomo zakhe zamalobolo emzini, lezonkomo uzoya kozibonela kamkhwenyana. Kube sekunqunywa usuku lokuya khona. Lesigaba sibizwa ngokuthi ukudla amalongwe.

Ukudliwa Kwamalongwe
Ubaba kamakoti ube esecela abafowabo ukuthi bamphelezele ngalelilanga lokuyodla ilongo lakhe emzini wentombi noma kubakhozi bakhe. Ngalolusuku abazali bentombi basuke behlinzekelwe ngayo yonke into emnandi. Abaphathi lutho ngalolusuku abakamakoti, bafika babheke izinkomo uma zibenelisa bahlatshelwa imbuzi, bese kubekwa ilanga lomshado. Kuyenzeka ziphelele futhi kuyenzeka zingapheleli, bayaxoxisana ukuthi zizoqedelelwa nini futhi kanjani bavumelane bese kushadwa. Kuyenzeka omunye angavumi kuze kube umkhwenyana uzishaya zonke bese kuyashadwa. Ubaba kamakoti uyena othenga ibhokisi lomshado.

English Summary
Lobola is practiced in the black communities but it is important to note that different communities or families follow different customs. For some it is important to perform all the stages of lobola so that the new couple will have all the protection and blessings of the ancestors. But for some these stages are not important, we see this mostly from those who are Christians. In this article Nelly gave us an insight of the lobola stages that are followed in her own community.

Asking the girl’s parents for her hand in marriage
Here lobola delegation visits the girl’s homestead. In the olden days they will be wearing their traditional attire. Here the father of the girl welcomes them and enquire if they know the person they are talking about. To ensure that they know the girl, all the girls that are present will be called in to sit down and the delegation is asked to point the girl that they want as a bride. The chief negotiator then stands up, takes out some money and place it on the girl’s head. This is a sign of respect and the negotiations can begin. When they are done, a child will be sent to follow the delegation with the purpose of taking away a stick carried by one of them. This symbolises that they are welcome and everything will follow the tradition.

Taking back the stick
After a while the girl’s delegation takes back the stick to the in-laws house with gifts. In some communities this custom is called covering the feet of the delegation or it’s the small gift ceremony. Where they give all the siblings gifts, including aunts etc. this is followed by bringing the girl’s father’s goat by the groom’s family. The goat is covered with a blanket, hat, coat, cigarettes, an axe etc. these are all for the girl’s father. They also give gifts to the family members. The groom’s parents are not part of this delegation.

After this the girl’s delegation takes back the ropes that were used for the goats. This is called the big gift ceremony ‘umbondo omkhulu’. They also take goats as part of the gifts to the groom’s family. Then in return the groom’s delegation takes a goat and gives it to the girl’s mother ‘ubikibiki’ in some communities they combine the father’s goat and the mother’s goat ceremonies. The goat is also covered with blanket, pinafore, head scarf etc. on this day the girl’s father is told to go and view his cattle at a groom’s homestead. Another ceremony, he then asks his brothers to accompany him to view this if he is happy then the wedding date is set or if there are any problems they can negotiate. Then a goat is slaughtered as a symbol of progress and acceptance.

By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane

4 thoughts on “Izigaba Zamalobolo”

Leave a Reply to Khosy Cancel reply