Ngokwesintu Ukuhlukanisa Kwabantu Abaganene Akuvumelekile

Ngokwesintu bebengahlukanisi abantu uma kade sebeganene noma sebelobolene. Umakoti losuke egane kulowomuzi, akayena owendoda yakhe kodwa kusuke kungowedlozi lakulowomuzi ngoba uma kusaqala zonke izingxoxo zamalobolo idlozi liyabikelwa ngempepho abakubo kamkhwenyana nabakantombazane nabo bayabika empepheni nabo. Sizokhumbula ukuthi umakoti uma engeniswa emzini uthelwa ngenyongo okunguphawu lokumxhumanisa namadlozi omuzi njengomuntu ozogana noma ozovusa umuzi.

Ziyabakhona izinto ezingenza ukuthi umakoti angamukeleki emzini noma emadlozini akhona, njengokuthi uma kukhona okungahambanga kahle ngesikhathi sezingxoxo zamalobolo. Umndeni kufanele uqinisekisa ukuthi uyalungiswa lowomonakalo ngoba umakoti akaxoshwa. Okokuqala usuke lowomuntu esekhishiwe emzini wakubo eyoqala impilo entsha emzini wakhe, okuchaza ukuthi akasavumelekile ukubuyela ekhaya. Ngokwesintu umuntu wesifazane noma engakagani kuthiwa akufanele aliwe yinsizwa ngoba lokho kuyibhadi. Okwakwenzeka ukuthi umuntu wesilisa uma esezizwa ukuthi ucu alusahlangani kwakufanele avele anyamalele angaphinde abuyele entombini leyo.

Uma kwenzekile insizwa ngokucikeka yaze yalikhipha ngomlomo ukuthi ayisayifuni lentombi, insizwa leyo yayiphoqwa kuthiwe ayiyithathe ngenkani leyontombi, isiyifakeni lentombi njengoba ingasayifuni. Yayiyithatha ngenkani kuthi ngemuva kwesikhathi isiyobuye izithathele emfunayo okwenza igcine isinesithembu. Kuthiwa kodwa lokhu kwakungazenzi izinto zibengcono ngoba indoda yayingagcina ingasayi emzini wayo wokuqala. Kwakuvumelekile ukuthi owesifazane uma ubaba wekhaya engasafiki ukuzombheka aqome kodwa leyondoda ingangeni emzini wenye indoda kwakuba nguye owesifazane ohambayo ukuyomvakashela.

Ukuhlukanisa akwenziwa noma akubi lula kulo idlozi, noma ngabe uye owonile owesifazane. Kunalokho uyahamba abuyele kubo ayoziceba futhi acele nenhlawulo yabasemzini ngesenzo sakhe abuye nenkomo nabakubo yokugeza umuzi lapho eganele khona. Ziningi izinto ebezingenzeka ukuthi umakoti atholakale enephutha emzini njengokuthakatha noma abanjwe ukuthi uqomile noma uphingile. Nento ebiyenza lokho ukuthi omunye unezingane kuthi ubaba wazo angafuni ukuthi zihlupheke kugcine sekwaziwa emzini.

Isikhathi esiningi uma umuntu wesifazane etholakale enephutha elingeke lisalungiseka, umyeni wakhe ngokubonisana nomndeni wakhe bathatha isinqumo sokuthi amakhele omunye umuzi ngaphandle kwamagceke omuzi. Umyeni usuke enzela ukuthi akwazi ukondla izingane zakhe kanye naye umfazi ngoba basuke bengahlukanisile phela, kuze kube uyafa amngcwabe. Lomakoti akanayo indawo azoya kuyo kubo ebesekhishiwe ngokusemthethweni wayogana. Umndeni wakubo makoti wona uyasiza ngenhlawulo lapho idingeka khona, hhayi ukuthi abuyele ekhaya. Umuntu uma eseganile usuke esewumthwalo waleyondoda ayiganile ngokwesintu noma ngabe izinto azihambi kahle emshadweni uyohlale engumkakhe ngisho kungenzekani.

Ukuxolisa kukamakoti
Uma kungukuthi iyakhulunywa indaba ebaxabanisile umakoti wayebuyela kubo ukuyolanda inhlawulo eyinkomo yokugeza umuzi walapho aganele khona. Kuzothi bona abasemzini bazomamukela ngembuzi. Lenkomo bayayiqhuba abakubo kamakoti bayihambise ekhweni. Lenkomo ihlatshelwa ngaphandle komuzi, bese kuthathwa inyongo nomswani wakhona kuchelwe ngawo igceke lonke njengophawu lokugeza umuzi. Ngisho kungathiwa wonele ngaphandle komuzi kufanele lokhu kwenziwe.

Umyeni kamakoti akayidli leyonyama yenkomo nabanye omakoti bakulomuzi abayidli bonke abanye abantu bayayidla emndenini, nomakhelwane bavumelekile ukuthi bayidle. Uma sekuhlwile bese kuhlatshwa imbuzi, iyoshunqiselwa impepho kukhulunywe nedlozi litshelwe ukuthi umakoti ubekade onile usexolisile, abamukele usenguye umakoti. Iyahlatshwa iphekwe idliwe. Bese kuye ngokuthi umkhwenyane uyamxolela yini umakoti wakhe, uma emxolela uyaqhubeka ahlale naye, kodwa uma kungukuthi umkhwenyana akamxoleli, umakhela umuzi ezaleni ufulathele umuzi omkhulu. Umkhwenyana wakhe uyamondla, uma ethanda uyamvakashela ngoba basuke besaganene kodwa uma esebuyela emzini wakhe kufanele aqale ayogeza emfuleni, uma umfula ungekho kufanele ageze ngaphandle komuzi.

English Summary
Traditionally, Zulu people don’t divorce no matter what the circumstances are. Families try to intervene by doing customary rituals like paying damages in the form of cattle. If this fails, especially when it is the woman that is in the wrong the husband will consult with his family to let them know that he is not prepared to continue with the relationship. In this case he should build his wife another house away from the homestead and also support her until she dies.

If they are able to work things out, the woman would go to her family and request cattle to give to the in-laws as a sign of asking for forgiveness. This cattle should be slaughtered outside the gate. The husband and all women that are married to the men of that family are not supposed to eat it. The family would take bile and dung and sprinkle it over the homestead yard. Then in the evening a goat is slaughtered to inform ancestors about that process.

By: Nelisiwe Hlongwane

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