Imithetho Yasemzini Elandelwa Ngumama Wengane

Imithetho yasemzini ebekelwa umama wengane ongalotsholiweNgibe nengxoxo noNelisiwe Mkhize ohlala endaweni yasOhlange, eNanda. Kodwa wazalelwa endaweni yaseMkhomazi wakhulela khona ufike eThekwini ngoba esezosebenza. Usixoxele ngemithetho yasemzini ekufanele yenziwe nalowo wesifazane ayenze uma esethole ingane yakulowo muzi.

Izindawo zasemakhaya ziyayilandela imithetho namasiko ashiywa ngokhokho. Noma izikhathi sezishintshile kwabanye basakhona abantu abakulandelayo lokhu. Sizoqala sibheke lapho kuvakashe umama wengane emzini njengokuthi akufanele ukuthi atholakale egcaluza egcekeni ngoba kunemigomo yezindawo lapho ekufanele ahambe khona uma engakangeniswa ngokwesiko kulowomuzi. Esibayeni umuntu wesifazane akasondeli okungeyena owalelo khaya.

Uma kwenzekile wabona ubabezala (umkhulu wengane) yakho engagqokile ngenhla noma eqimbile kufanele akuhlawulele kubekhona imali akunika yona yokuxolisa ukuthi umbone engagqokile ngenhla. Ngokwesintu kuyicala ukuthi ahambe engagqokile kube kukhona umakoti noma umuntu wangaphandle emzini wakhe. Noma ngabe unina wengane ubelethe ingane ukuthi bazoyibona kubo kwayo kumele ngokisiko akhokhe imali yokuhlawula. Kuyefana nakuyena unina wengane noma umuntu wesifazane ozoganela kulowomuzi ukuthi akudingeki ahambe ngamahlombe noma aveze izingalo ngaphambe emzini sengathi uyingane yakhona, kufanele afake ingubo enemikhono.

Ukungena ekhishini
Kuyenzeka ngesinye isikhathi kube ukuthi unina wengane uyaqala ukuya kubo kwengane futhi kukude kakhulu nakubo okwenza ukuthi aphoqeleke ukuthi alale noma ahlale izinsuku khona. Kuzothi ngalezinsuku asanda kufika ngazo bamlethele izinto azidingayo njengamanzi nokudla. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwesikhathi kumele naye azilungiselele izinto zakhe ekhishini ngoba unengane. Kodwa akazukukwazi ukuvele acele ukungena ekhishini nje kumele kubekhona imali abamnika yona eyinhlawulo yokuthi bakungenise ekhishini kungakabi isikhathi sokungena. Leyomali kufanele unina wengane ayinike abomndeni wakhe.

Kubalulekile ukuthi nabo abasemzini babikele amadlozi abo ukuthi angathuki uma kungena umuntu angamazi lapho kuphekelwa khona noma exhibeni kufanele bawatshele ukuthi ungubani lowomuntu futhi uzokwenzani njengokuthi, basho ukuthi ungowakwa bani isibongo, ize ngobani kulowomuzi futhi isizele ingane yekhaya. Noma lokhu sekwenziwe akumele ukuthi angene kukhona ubabezala ekhishini, uyalinda aze aphume kuyima engena khona. Ekhishini ungena ngokutshotsha uma eyopheka akufanele nje ahambe sengathi usekhokheliwe. Kufanele nabantu abakhona ekhishini ukuthi uma ezongena baphume bamdedele babuye uma esephumile umakoti.

Ukuhlonipha ubabezala
Akumele ahlale naye endlini eyodwa naye ngoba uzogcina esumphendula noma kungafanele kumele uma engena aphume. Nokuthi kusuke kubalekelwa ukuthi umakoti angagcini esugqolozele ubabezala emehlweni lokho kuzobe kukhombisa ukungahloniphi. Ngoba phela thina indlu emnyama akumele umuntu osemncane abheke umuntu omdala emehlweni.

Okwenziwa ngumuntu osehlala emzini engalotsholiwe uma kushoniwe
Uma kwenzeka ukuthi kanti unina wengane uhlala khona emzini engakhokhelwanga njngoba sekwenziwa esikhathini sanamuhla, bese kuyashonwa emzini kumele abakubo wentombazane bayilande noma izihambele ibuyele kubo kuze kudlule umngcwabo. Uma kushone ubaba wengane nalapho kufanele ahambe abuye ngosuku lomngcwabo. Akawathinti ngisho amabhodwe akhona uhlala njengesivakashi kuthi uma sekuqediwe ahambe aphindele kubo.

Kubalulekile ukwazi ngezinto ngoba iningi labantu ukuthola ingane abanye bakuthatha njengokugana kube kungakhokhwanga lutho. Nokuthi uma unina wengane evakashile emzini noma ehambisa ingane kufanele azi ukuthi akulunganga ukuthi bamcele apheke ngaphandle kwenhlawulo.

English Summary
Nelisiwe Mkhize of Ohlange in Inanda was born at Umkhomazi shared this story with us. The story is about what is expected of a young woman who is not married but who have a child when visiting the in-laws house.

If it happens that the young woman see the father in law without his shirt on, the father in law have to give her an incentive of some sort because she is not part of the family and was not supposed to him in that position.

The young woman is not allowed to enter the kitchen of the in-laws until they pay ilobolo for her. If it happens that circumstances force this they should give her an incentive that she also have to give to her parents as a sign of entering a kitchen before the time is right.

She is not allowed to enter the kitchen when the father-in-law is in the room, she must wait until he exit then can enter.

She is not allowed to stay in the same room with the father-in-law, she must avoid this by all means.

There are situations where a woman will be staying with the in-laws but not officially (no lobola paid), in this circumstance when there is death, the woman should go back to her family until after the funeral even if it’s her partner who is dead she should leave and come on the day of the funeral and go back home again.

By: Nqobile Mdabe

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