Imithetho Ebekelwe Umuntu Wesilisa Ekhaya

Ngibe nengxoxo nomama Mary Matenga ohlala eCongo. Umama Mary ungixoxela ngemithetho eyayenziwa noma ibekwa kuqala uma uyinsizwa noma uyingane yomfana osakhula. Njengokuthi uma ukhula ikuphi okumele ukwenze. Nokuthi nabantu abadala bakuqala iziphi izinto ekwakumele bazihloniphe uma umnumzane wakulowo muzi esaphila noma kukhona ingane yomfana. Kuqala izinto zazivamise ukuthi zihambe ngendlela ekuyiyona ngokosiko kanye nokwenhlonipho.

Kuyinto eyaziwayo ukuthi umuzi nomuzi unenhloko yawo ikakhulukazi njengoba sibekile lapha ngenhla ukuthi uma kusaphila ubaba wekhaya nguyena oyinhloko. Uma uyingane ukukhula ekhaya uyazi noma ngabe ingane yomfana ukuthi kunenhloko yakhona kulomizi wakini. Ngisho noma ngabe ubaba wakho akanalutho uyaziwa endaweni. Kodwa kuqala kukhona izinto owawungakwazi ukuthi zibe ezakho uma kukhona ubaba wakho egcekeni. Uma nje uqala ukusebenza wawuqala ngazo. Uma insizwa isibona ukuthi isindala ngokwanele noma iphuma ilawu layo. Uma ithenga umbhede ngoba ithi ifuna ukulala kuwona ngoba isikhulula kwakumele iqale ithengele ubaba wayo kuqala uma kungukuthi ubaba wayo akanawo umbhede alala kuwona. Ngoba luthi usiko awukwazi ukuthi ekhona umnunzane womuzi kuqhwakele ingane phezulu ngoba lokho kungasho ukuthi leyongane isizogibela phezu kwekhanda likababa wayo. Insizwa yayiqala ngaye uyise ukuze kube uyena ozoqhwakela kuqala.

Futhi uma ingane yomfana ikhona egcekeni awukwazi ukuthi ubize ingane ngesibongo sikayise wengane uma esaphila. Isibonelo uma kulowo muzi kuyikwaNgcobo awukwazi ukuthi kunjani weNgcobo usho enganeni. Akusiwona umthetho wesizulu lowo. Kumele lihlonishwe ilungelo lomnumzane wekhaya. Uma ke ubaba womfana eseshonile isingabizwa ingane ngesibongo sikababa wayo.

Kufana nokuthi uma ingane yomfana ithenga umuzi usuke lowo muzi kungesiwona owayo. Uma ubaba wayo esaphila kusuke kungokababa wayo. Ngokosiko ubaba womfana angeza azoshaya imithetho noma inini. Ngaphadle uma ubaba esewashona isingasho ingane ukuthi umuzi uwayo ngokuphelele ngoba kusuke sekuyiyona inhloko yomuzi. Ngoba bheka ukuthi uma umfana abazali bakhe bengawatholanga amandla okuthi bashade umfana uyothi uma esefuna ukushada uyoqala ngabazali bakhe kuqala kube yilapho eselandela eshada naye.

Hhayi lento esiyenzeka manje kuthi ingane ikhula nje abantu bayibize ngesibongo. Futhi sekuyinto eyenziwayo manje abantu abaningi ngisho nabadala. Somuzwa ebiza ingane ngesibongo kodwa ubaba wayo esaphila. Futhi phela umbhede owawulala ingane yomfana ekhaya awunikwa umakoti wakhe uma eseyokwaba. Uzobe eselala khona embhedeni wakhe ofike nomakoti wakhe. Ngokosiko ingane ayingaqhwakeli phezulu kodwa ubaba wayo ehlezi phansi. Kuwumthetho wakuqala futhi kwezinye indawo kusenziwa lokhu. Asigcine amasiko ethu nokuhlonipha.

English Summary
In most families there are rules that are followed by children which are given by their parents as they grow up. In this story we are looking at some of the rules given to a boy child in different stages of his life. Our focus will be on the stage where he starts to work or preparing to wed.

In the olden days people used grass mats for sitting or sleeping purposes and as the time changed they started to own beds and other furniture. It is said that a son was not allowed to buy himself a bed or sleep on it if his father was still using a grass mat, by respect he should buy his father the bed and then after that he can buy a bed for himself. It was a taboo that a child would sit or sleep on something higher than a parent.

Another focus is to call a boy child by his surname while his father is still alive. This is not allowed unless the father as the head of the family have passed on only then it is acceptable to do this. Another interesting rule is that he would not wed if his parents did not go through that process. For instance, there were situations where a father or a man will pay part of the lobola cattle and this would lead to the couple not doing their traditional wedding. Before the son would wed he should pay his father’s debt to his mother’s family and they should marry and only after that process is he going to wed himself.

By: Nqobile Mdabe

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