Indawo Lapho Kufanele Izingxoxo Zamalobolo Zibanjelwe Khona

Udaba lokulobola lude futhi miningi imigomo nemithetho elandelwayo uma kuqala lesigaba. Okubalulekile ukuthi yomibili imindeni kufanele iqinisekise ukuthi ziyalandelwa zonke izinto ngendlela ezojabulisa nalabo abangasekho. Lapha sibheka ukuthi ilobolo kufanele likhokhwe komuphi umuzi. UMama uThembi Mdlalose usilandise kabanzi ngaloludaba. Ilobolo isiko elibalulekile lesintu lapho imindeni emibili engazani iqala yakha ubuhlobo ngoba izingane zabo sezifuna ukuganana. Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi ilobolo likhishwa ngabasemzini lihanjiswa ekhweni lapho kuzalwa intombazane. Uma kukhulunywa ngokuthi lapho kuzalwa intombazane kushiwo kubokayise noma emzini kayise. Kodwa sekuyenzeka ezikhathini zanamuhla ukuthi ingane yentombazane ikhulele ekhabonina ngezizathu ezithile noma umama wayo wayeganile emzini ngokwesintu lapho kwakhishwa khona amalobolo noma izinkomo kodwa zangapheleli agcine esebuyele kubo.

Yingalesizathu sibheka lendaba ngoba lokhu kwenza ukuthi abantu babe nokungazi ukuthi kufanele kulotsholwe ngakuphi. Iqiniso lithi kufanele izingxoxo zelobolo zenzelwe lapho kuzalwa khona intombazane noma ngabe sekukhona umzali ongasekho emhlabeni kufanele amelwe abafowabo abasaphila. Kodwa ngenxa yezimo ezithile noma ukuthanda ukuba ngogimbela kwesabo abanye abavumi ukuthi izinto zenziwe ngendlela efanele lokhu okuholela ekutheni lowomuntu oganayo angakwazi ukuhlala kahle noma ukujabula emzini wakhe ngoba izinto azihanjiswanga ngendlela.

Okubalulekile ukuthi ekugcineni kufanele kweneliseke zombili izingxenye zemindeni njengokuthi noma ngabe zigcina zingakuphi izingxoxo kufanele kuqikelwe ukuthi konke okuqondene nonina ozala intombi leyo ezogana kuhanjiswe kuyena ngisho nenkomo yakhe imbala. Abantu abaningi bavamise ukubhekisisa ukuthi ubani okhulise leyongane njengoba isigana bafune ukuthi kulotsholwe kubona. Lokho akwenziwa kufanele intombi ibuyele kubo ekhaya likayise. Uma kwenzeka kunalesimo sokuthi kubekhona umuntu okhulise intombi leyo kodwa engayizali kwezinye izindawo kukhishwa inkomo ebizwa inkomo yesondlo sengane. Lenkomo ayihlangene neyomqhoyiso.

Inkomo yomqhoyiso iqondene nomama wentombi kuphela, kuyicala ukuthi idliwe ngomunye umuntu noma ngabe wayikhulisa intombazane. Uma kungukuthi abazali babeganene kodwa zangaphelela izinkomo abasekhweni sebengasebenzisa lelithuba ukuzolanda izinkomo ezasala kumkhwenyana noma uyise wentombi. Ngokwesintu lokhu kuvumelekile ukuthi kuqedelwe amalobolo ngezinkomo zomunye umuntu ngoba zisuke seziqondene nalowo osuke ebakweleta.

Kodwa uma kwenzeka ukuthi kunezi nkinga ezikhona ezibonakalayo ukuthi amalobolo angakhishelwa komalume kufanele kushiswe impepho bese omdala ekhaya athemeleze kubantu abadala abangasekho (ukuthemeleza ilapho kusuke kubikwa inkinga emadlozini). Lapho kufanele abizwe ubaba wengane uma esaphila ukuze azothatha okuqondene naye. Uma engasekho kubizwa ubaba omncane azomela ubaba wengane ngoba noma seyikhishwa intombi ngosuku lomgcagco uyena oyoyibamba ngengalo.
Ngoba kwezinye izindawo ekukhona amakhosi udaba olunje luyafakelwa icala uma kunombango, kuyiwe enduneni yenkosi kuyobikwa ukuthi abasekhweni bafuna ukuthatha amalobolo kodwa zakhishwa izinkomo zelobolo noma zenhlawulo. Kubalulekile ukuthi izinto ezifana nalezi zilandelwe ngendlela elungile ngoba namadlozi uma enganeme kukhona okungeke kuhambe kahle ekugcineni.

English Summary
The subject of lobola is very broad, there are rules and regulations that should be followed carefully. In this article we are looking at where exactly should the negotiations take place. In a Zulu culture when a woman falls pregnant regardless of being married or not. Damages should be paid by the man’s family. There are cases where some people will get married but only to find out that the groom did not pay all the expected cattle meaning he still owes his in-laws. And again there will be instances where the parents will be staying separately for some reasons.

Regardless of what is mentioned above lobola negotiations should be done at the girl’s father kraal if he had paid for damages even if the girl didn’t grow up at her father’s house. It is important for the family to give the girl’s mother what is rightfully hers during these negotiations. And there are instances where both parents are dead and the person who looked after the girl wants a share. This person is entitled to only one cattle for looking after the girl; this should not be confused with the mother’s cattle.

There are situations where the maternal side of the girl’s family is forced to hold these negotiations, it is important that they communicate with the ancestors regarding all the process and why they are doing it. They should also consult the girl’s paternal family so that they can send a representative and also for them it is important that they give the father of the girl what is rightfully his.

By: Nqobile Mdabe

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